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In my personal experience, religion/spiritual belief has always been a touchy subject. I believe it is because a lot of our values, morals, and views of the world are based on our religious/spiritual beliefs. When we are engaged in debates, conversations, etc about our religious/spiritual beliefs, we become defensive because it feels as though our values, morals, etc are being attacked whether they are actually being attacked or not.
When my husband and I were dating, I didn’t think it was a big deal to talk about our spiritual beliefs or how we would raise our children spiritually because I assumed they would be somewhat similar since he was a Catholic and I was a Protestant Christian. Boy was I wrong.
I had forgotten that Catholics believed in baptizing children when they were young then had them go through confirmation when they were teenagers versus me growing up believing that we got baptized whenever we accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior AND wanted to publicly display our acceptance of Christ. My husband was sprinkled with water when he was an infant whereas I was dunked in a lake. When we started having children, we had many disagreements on whether or not we were going to get them baptized as infants.
I grew up going to church every Sunday and being involved in at least one ministry. I continued doing this up until I married my husband. My husband stopped attending church regularly when he was 23. When we were about to get married, I asked my husband for the address of his church so that I could check it out. My husband didn’t even know the name of the church that his parents attended. After we got married, getting my husband to go to church on Sundays and be involved in a ministry was like trying to get a goat to cross a river.
These were just a few examples of things that could occur if you and your significant other how you two are going to practice your spiritual beliefs. Despite us having the same spiritual belief foundation (believing in God), how we went about our spiritual beliefs were very different. My husband was the type where donating money to the church was enough while I enjoyed attending church services and being involved in ministries.
I have worked with many couples where they have different spiritual beliefs and simply assumed that their significant other will just accept their spiritual belief and convert. After I prompted them to start a discussion about their spiritual beliefs and expectations, they were usually surprised by their significant other’s responses or assumptions. Thus it is important for couples to discuss their spiritual beliefs and expectations with each other because most of the time, it is the foundation of their values and morals. If the couples have different spiritual beliefs, they need to come to a compromise as to how they’re going to both incorporate both their spiritual beliefs into their life together. If there is no respect for the different spiritual beliefs then it is like saying that there is no respect for the values and morals of the individual.
Spiritual Belief Assignment:
1. Schedule a time to sit down with your significant other (at least 30 minutes)
2. Take turns talking about your spiritual beliefs and expectations (i.e. if one partner is a Christian, do they expect to go to church every Sunday?)
3. Talk about how you and your significant other are going to incorporate your spiritual belief into your relationship and life together
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