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My sister-in-law (husband’s sister) passed away 2 years ago today. There had been many times in the past two years where I felt like it just happened. When she passed, I wasn’t sure how I would ever be able to continue living life with her not in it. We weren’t best friends where we confided in each other about everything, but we were sister-in-laws. She was one of my bridesmaids and my “green lady” during my Hmong wedding. We lived together for 3 years. Whenever we had drinks together, we talked about her hopes, dreams, and plans for the future.
There are days where I became overwhelmed with my grief for her loss. As therapist, I knew right away when those feelings came. I didn’t try to suppress them or push them to the side. I would take the time or day off and just sit in my grief. I would just sit on the couch or lay down and let myself cry. Sometimes I would just cry all day long, while other times I would cry for only a few minutes. Whatever I needed, I gave myself that time and space for it.
There are days when my kids ask about her loss or simply just want to talk about her. I let them because it is the only way for her memory to live through them.
As I’ve said before, the grieving never stops because that person is forever gone from our lives. The hole in our heart will always be there. We just learn how to continue living life as each day goes on.
Today was just one of those days that I just needed to sit with my grief and mourn her loss.
When you or someone close to you experience grief and loss, I hope you encourage yourself or them to sit with the grief and to mourn the loss.
ARA COUNSELING 